next steps

well that was a night filled with worries - and all for naught.

she met with T at 7.30 (well, 7.15 as he turned up early). i know no details, other than her words 'it really is over'.

she was very traumatised by it (as i guess is understandable as she was fighting false feelings of love over the guy, but it's over. he's not an option any more.

i hope and pray fervently that this has the word 'forever' at the end of it - but i feel she feels that way too.

now i just need to work out what i do.

i've discovered through all this that i'm absolutely in love with her. crazy about her. all the usual stuff and more.

and i need to work out where to go next.

she's thankful for my support through all this. telling me she can't thank me enough. i only hope she works out why i've given her all this support, why i care about her so much. and hopefully, well who knows.

but fundamentally, the other thing i've realised - you can rebel against God all you like, but it doesn't stop Him from blessing you and those around you. even in the darkest times.

i need to pray more. cos He is awesome.